For context, this was written for an outlet with a generally LDS audience that ultimately wasn’t published but has some value I think.
“I tore myself from Her warm embrace. It was time for me to go. Before I left that place, She placed Her hand on my chest and told me She was always with me and that She loved me. She told me that my pain was Hers and I could be free from it.” The next moment, my therapist put his hand on my shoulder and asked if I was ready to come out. Tears streaming down my face, I nodded, taking off my headphones and facemask, while trying to sit up.
I struggled to convey my experiences, like many who undergo psychedelics, but this particular encounter was crystal clear. Heavenly Mother, the Divine Feminine, a female ancestor, whatever you might want to call her, gave me hope—hope that I could heal from my constant desire to end my life, from the anxiety that riddled my every waking moment.
To be quite frank, psychedelics or rather, the experiences I had on psychedelics, literally saved my life. This is the reason many tout them as a miracle cure. For me they were and are. This most certainly is not always the case and the actual process is much more difficult than simply taking the substance, however they can facilitate healing and growth in both the healthy and suffering. For the unfamiliar, psychedelics, or entheogens (I use the terms interchangeably), are umbrella terms for a variety of substances, each with unique and particular experiences and effects including LSD, DMT, MDMA, Ketamine, Ayahuasca, Psilocybin, and Mescaline, among many, many others. Recent research has suggested that these substances can be beneficial for a whole swathe of mental health problems: depression, anxiety, PTSD, eating disorders, addiction, OCD, etc. While scientists are studying whether these substances are pharmacologically efficacious, others, including myself, are more interested in the experiences people have with these molecules and how these shape their lives.
Many report healing experiences while under the care of a psychedelic substance. The growing interest and exposure of psychedelics in mainstream media has led to more open discussions of people’s experiences. The broad cultural response is to accept the story of healing via psychedelics and even celebrate it. But as soon as the religious or spiritual dimension of an entheogenic encounter is brought up, the support suddenly dissipates and would-be-supporters become skeptical.1 This has been my own and countless others’ experience.
Why, when someone says they have seen God and felt his embrace do we suddenly close off? Is it because we feel unworthy of the presence of the Divine? Does their experience minimize our own? Is it because we have this idea of what God is and must be, thereby ostracizing anyone whose own experience and conception of God does not align with our own? While rich, interfaith dialogue is usually celebrated and individuals work to build bridges whereby communication might be possible, why then do so many shut down at the mere hint that someone’s own encounter with the Divine might be different than their own?
As I’ve shared my own experiences of communing with the Divine, angels, deceased ancestors, animals, plants, and the world around me I’ve been called a liar, a servant of the devil, and written off as someone trying to destroy faith. Yet for me, psychedelics have done nothing but strengthen my faith. They’ve broadened my horizons and shown me the sacred that exists in every living being—be it plant, animal, or even human—and in landscapes. There’s a reason mountains have been seen as sacred places.
My psychedelic journeys have revealed the interconnection of the world, of the spiritual reality that is Heaven on Earth. We do not escape Earth and go to Heaven, nor do we bring Heaven down from some vague “out there”. No, we merely open our eyes to it.
This is not to say that every psychedelic experience is profoundly spiritual in nature. Some are merely fun—restoring beauty to the mundane. They can be akin to weekly church meetings; not every visit to church is profound and life-changing, but some are, and each visit is fulfilling in some way.
The spiritual benefits of entheogens not only include visions and experiences of the Divine. They also can include an increased capacity for empathy, for mourning with those that mourn, for recognizing the divinity in other people, an enhanced sense of meaning and purpose though recognizing that “all things denote there is a God”, but the largest spiritual benefit comes in the form of the second great commandment: loving one another. My own capacity for loving other people has grown exponentially since my first foray into the psychedelic space. During another experience I truly understood what is described in 1 John 4:16 “God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.” I could literally feel the light of Christ pulsating from every living thing as I was taken on a tour of the Earth. I felt the latent Divinity in all things.
In having and integrating these experiences I’ve been able to heal old wounds and problematic patterns of behavior, allowing me to love others on their terms and for who they are. My wife tells me (and I agree with her) that there’s a before psychedelics Alex and an after psychedelics Alex. Prior to my experiences I was hardened, hurt, and closed off to other people. That Alex died and was reborn. He had a mighty change of heart and was reborn into a loving, caring, sociable fellow who genuinely wants to connect with others.
Some claim psychedelics are a shortcut to the Divine or that one must first live an extraordinarily righteous life before getting to have visions of God. Implicit in these criticisms of “spiritual bypassing” is the notion that individuals, even as “Children of God”, must merit expressions of Divine love or presence through toil. What parent requires their child to suffer and prove their worthiness prior to an outpouring of parental love? Laman, Lemuel, Alma the Younger, and countless others in the Book of Mormon were visited by angels despite actively working against God’s plans. Jesus healed a woman with an issue of blood for her show of faith. He visited the sickly, the poor, the downtrodden and all he required was the desire to believe.
All that said, in my mind, psychedelics have not been, nor are, a shortcut to spirituality or the Divine. My own experiences did not come before a dark night of the soul—a death and rebirth of some part of me. And while I’ve had many peak spiritual experiences under their tutelage, the road is still long, life is still hard, and my own prayer and meditation practices have deepened as a result. Entheogens gave me a glimpse of what is out there and have strengthened my resolve and desire to draw nearer to the Divine, whatever that might be.
With all this talk of the entheogenic spiritual experience, it needs to be mentioned that central to being able to make sense of these experiences are the containers by which they are framed and integrated in. If approached from a Latter-day Saint perspective, in a Latter-day Saint theological context, the content of the psychedelic experience can be mediated and understood through the lens of the gospel, perhaps strengthening one’s faith. The same can be said for a Christian context, a Muslim context, or a Buddhist context. These things, when used in community, in a facilitated space, can enhance one’s spiritual life without requiring a renegotiation of faith.
Psychedelic experiences have remarkably similar content and phenomenological intricacies to many mystical and spiritual experiences. I’ve worked with a number of active Latter-day Saints who have had entheogenic journeys in which many, myself included, report similar visionary experiences to ones found in early Latter-day Saint history. The fact that this occurs raises numerous interesting and fun theological discussions which remain unsaid because of the discourse surrounding this topic.
The current stance of a large portion of the LDS and Christian communities towards psychedelics actively does harm to those who might be seeking God or utilizing psychedelics to get closer to him. The current attitude and disdain for those who use these substances may drive the user to seek answers to their questions elsewhere, to churches and theologies that are more open to exploration and working through theological issues that these experiences might create. Theology is an open and beautiful thing. It’s an act of play and worship combined that has the potential for bridging divides and opening our minds in awe at the universe we live in. It also can function as an act of integration.
A strong emphasis on integration of the experience is found in nearly every psychedelic discussion, and for good reason. Research shows that the integration of the experience is key for the lasting positive impacts to occur.2 A large part of that integration can be dependent on the social circles one is a part of. Rejection by friends and family is detrimental to the growth of the individual following the experience. These people don’t need to use or even necessarily agree with the use of psychedelics to be supportive. A simple affirmation of their experience and recognition that it was important to them is often all that is required. I’ve heard too many times of individuals who are afraid to talk to the Latter-day Saint or Christian family member or friend in their life for fear of judgment. These sentiments break my heart. Are we not all striving to navigate this world as best we can? And if a substance heals us physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally, or in whatever way, that ought to be something that is celebrated! Celebration without a community to share in the joy is not much of a celebration at all.
I don’t think everyone should take psychedelics nor are they necessary for spiritual growth. However, I think as religious people, we ought to love and celebrate all stories of healing and spiritual growth, no matter the catalyst—according to LDS theology all healing stems from the atonement. I think the religious and spiritual dimensions of psychedelics pose an incredible opportunity for exploration of the vast types of spiritual manifestations, what it means to have a religious life, and for our ability to connect with the Otherworld. As Hamlet tells Horatio, “There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.” If nothing else, psychedelics have helped me realize that there’s more to the human mind and the Divine than we can possibly imagine.
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- Many LDS and Christian people speak and act as if psychedelics are in some devilish category—largely a result of the propaganda-fueled War on Drugs and statements by leaders who were shaped by the cultural backlash of the countercultural foray into psychedelics. This response is likely, at least in part, a function of that notion of drugs being devilish and therefore incompatible with spiritual experience. ↩︎
- Roman Palitsky, Deanna M. Kaplan, Caroline Peacock, et al. “Importance of Integrating Spiritual, Existential, Religious, and Theological Components in Psychedelic-Assisted Therapies.” JAMA Psychiatry 2023 80(7):743–749; Sophie Whitney, “Supporting the Psychedelic Integration Process,” Dissertation (Pacifica Graduate Institute, 2023); Geoff J. Bathje, Eric Majeski, Mesphina Kudowor, “Psychedelic integration: An analysis of the concept and its practice,” Front. Psychology. 13:824077. ↩︎